If I had a penny for every time I was asked this question on consultation calls, I would have a lot of pennies. In my experience it is not about problems going too far. It really comes down to whether you and your partner truly want your relationship to work. My most successful couples are not the ones who do not fight. They are the couples that no matter what they have gone through or put each other through, they are committed to the process of healing their relationship. Though to be clear, I am not referencing relationships with active abuse.

This truly depends on your relationship. For long lasting change it is important that we allow the therapeutic process to move as slowly as it needs to. I often describe our work together like climbing a staircase where we start on step one. The goals you are hoping to achieve might be on step ten of a twelve step staircase, and I will often share with my couples exactly what step I believe we are on together. Sometimes we think we are on the last step and then the deeper we go into repairing emotional wounds, the more we realize there are a few more steps ahead. This is especially true for couples in Fort Lauderdale where the pace of city life adds its own unique layer to the work.

Most couples counseling focuses on communication skills — learning to fight better, use "I statements," take turns listening. Those tools are not useless, but they tend to stay on the surface. Emotionally Focused Therapy goes underneath the argument to the emotional experience driving it. Instead of teaching you scripts and “good communication” , Emily helps and guides you to have conversations that lead to transformational change and connection. EFT has decades of attachment research behind it and some of the strongest outcome data in the couples therapy field. It is not a quicker fix, but it tends to create changes that actually last.

All of my regular sessions are 50 minutes and held online. However I am now offering Couples Therapy Intensives in person for Fort Lauderdale couples. If you are interested in intensives, feel free to ask me about it during our consultation.

Intensives are an accelerated approach to couples therapy with more structure and dedicated time built specifically around your relational needs. They take place on weekends and typically run three to four hours per session over two to four weekends, though the structure is always shaped by what I believe would be most beneficial for where you and your partner are in the process.

Attachment theory, developed by John Bowlby and later applied to adult relationships by Dr. Sue Johnson, is the idea that human beings are wired to need a safe emotional bond with the people closest to them. When that bond feels secure, we can handle almost anything. When it feels threatened we go into protection mode. We pursue, we withdraw, we attack, we go quiet. What looks like a personality clash in a relationship or compatibility issue is often two attachment systems doing exactly what they were designed to do. Understanding your attachment patterns does not excuse the behavior. It explains the behavior, which is where change actually starts (Bowlby, 1969; Johnson, 2004).

It is completely understandable for a partner to be skeptical or hesitant about starting couples therapy. I am always open to having a conversation with partners who are on the fence during our consultation call.

With that being said, I am not here to convince anyone to begin therapy. My objective as a couples therapist is to ensure that both partners genuinely want to be in the room. If that is not the case and partners are coming in with different agendas, couples therapy can actually be harmful to the relationship and to the partner who is invested in the process. If I notice that dynamic I will name it directly and recommend discontinuing services until both partners are ready.

I am a private pay practice and do not accept insurance directly. Sessions are $150 for a 50-minute session.